: it...

recently, sleep has been eh-so-so for me; my mind hasn't been consumed by the now, but more of the when. it's not like i sit around looking for "it" anymore; i am sitting around wondering when it's going to happen. and if you don't know what "it" is, well, let me tell you what i think "it" is;

something so life changing that when i wake up in the morning it's the first thing i think about and the last thing i think about before i go to sleep. it's what i want by my side each and everyday; every inch of me consumed by it at night. my breath is taken away by it, and when i close my eyes, it's all i see. it makes me feel like a whole different person, yet doesn't change who i am, but makes me better. it gives me strength when the days are rough, and it gives me hope when all else fails. it makes me smile constantly and sometimes cry; a cry that takes me breath away because it's so beautiful. it makes my heart skip a beat and my hands sweat. it makes my body numb, yearning for more. it takes every part of me and enjoys it; even when i am at my worst, i am accepted. it's honest, it's mind blowing, it's breathtaking, it's numbing, it hurts so good, it wants more of me, i want more of it, it's special, it's life changing, it's once in a lifetime; it's love.