: cut the cord..

i haven't had many relationships that have lasted over 4 months; except for one, 4 years...i think? something like that. anyways, i know so much about relationships (so i have been told) yet i am not successful at them. all day today, instead of doing my homework like a good student, i have been racking my brain for a constant 3 hours; wondering how i could have such knowledge on relationships, yet i suck at them. then, when i said the words "i suck at them", i realized that maybe i am not the one who is sucking (no pun intended; get your head out of the gutter), maybe the guys that i have had relationships with are the ones who are. but knowing that a guy is sucky, why wouldn't i run? ohhh yes, the battle that some of us girls deal with on a constant basis; misery LOVES company (and comfort). being lonely is pretty miserable, and being comfortable is loveable. let me pick apart that chaotic statement for you; for me, i am use to men who treat me less then i deserve; they treat me like shit...but because it's all i have ever known, it's my comfort zone. when i meet a super nice guy, is when i run; because in the back of my mind, i am freaking out because who wants to be out of their comfort zone? not i. so, i am lonely, i stick with the sucky guy who brings the miserable out of me and i LOVE it; i am comfortable and a little less lonely then i was before, so i thought.

ok, so here we go on this one; throw out the physical aspect of every relationship i have had and look at the emotional aspect; emotionally, they've all been lonely as a lost puppy in a cave. wow, it has finally come to me, that in the end i have always been lonely in "those" relationships. once you hit the plato of a relationship regarding the physical aspect, what's left? emotional aspect. but what's left if there is no emotion? nothing. nada. zippo. zero. waste of time.

now i have to cut the cord on "relationships" fast when i see ONE red flag; i usually am attracted to a plethora of red flags because it's what i am use too; but now i have to start setting my standards up, letting my guard down when it's meant to go down and run run run run run when i see that red flag; cutting the cord. cut cut cut cut.