I haven't written in a while- maybe it's do to the fact that insomnia has been a tough subject for me to project about. I hear people tell me how they had a great night sleep, or how they had an incredible dream- I get jealous because I don't sleep and I don't dream- and if I do, for the hour that I do sleep, it's a nightmare- who wants to have nightmares? I believe that life, sometimes is a nightmare, so why would I want to dream of horrible things? Sometimes I'd rather not sleep, for that hour that I do sometimes, because in all reality nightmares suck..they suck. So vivid, so clear. I wonder if they have meaning to them? I know they do- but what is the underlying meaning of nightmares?....
Stress.
Alone.
Distractions.
Life.
Thoughts.
....get in the way of sleep. I often wonder how to calm my brain down from thinking certain things, how to feel less lonely, how to not get caught up in life so I can sleep...the doctor says that all the above reasons are why I am not sleeping- but how am I suppose to get over these factors that are causing me not to sleep?....how does a girl feel less lonely at night when there isn't "a last phone call of the night" or someone to kiss goodnight?...how do I not think about the utmost nonimportant stress in my life?...HOW? HOW? HOW?...
I want answers. and I want them now.
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