: benefit...nature.

"What is the benefit of insomnia?"

...all day today i thought about the answer to that question. at first, my initial answer to that question would have been that there is no benefit, but then i kept thinking about how tired i always am, and there is a reason to which i make myself NOT sleep; there is a benefit to not sleeping; reality is better then my dreams. usually dreams are better then ones reality, but in my case, I feel as though my dreams constantly pertain aspects in life that I want and can't have, therefore I would much rather not be reminded to what I can't have or what I want, therefore I don't want to sleep; make sense? more then likely not, but it helps me realize a few things when I write it.

Nature: for the past few weeks I haven't been "on earth"...not in touch with my surroundings, more in touch with the racing thoughts that overtake my mind; my brain has been so busy that I haven't had a chance to breathe and take notice of life. I sat under a tree, looked around, and took in everything I could; all my senses were triggered. I finally came back to earth; for 5 minutes of my life within the past few weeks, I didn't have one thought in my brain; it was blank. It was a feeling I haven't had in a long time, and I have to say, it didn't feel right; maybe because I am so use to the chaotic brainwaves, that I didn't know how to react to it. Reaction to nature?....blankness. Reaction to the blankness? Not comfortable. Reaction to feeling uncomfortable?...Thoughts to why I feel uncomfortable. Never ending cycle.