: better days

i have noticed lately, that sleeping has been an option; because i am finally making it an option.


previously, i saw an advantage to not sleeping, but now, i finally see the bigger picture; why there is an advantage TO sleep. i find myself more and more looking forward to my days ahead; where as a few months ago, even a week or so ago, i never wanted to sleep because i didn't want the next day to come due to the fact that i wasn't ever looking forward to it. now, i have many reasons why i can look forward to my days. my days have recently been up to par with my meaning of a "good day";

i find myself dealing with curve balls a lot better, i smile for no reason (smiling use to be my worst enemy a few months ago), i am less prone to wanting to punch somebody in the face, i have finally let down my man hating wall a little bit and am finally feeling alright with the fact that i have to live to get hurt in order to feel what love is (get it? read into it a bit more), i finally see that the past is the past, and am slowly but surely (key word, SLOWLY) letting it all go smoothly into my jar of memories that i won't open until i am content fully with the past, i thank god everyday for what he has given me and what he has thrown at me; because it made me a better person in the end, i came to terms with the fact that i may not be perfect to you, but i am to me. i could go on and on and disclose why my days are up to par with my meaning of a good day, but that might open up a whole new can of worms; and i feel as though worms don't need to be appearing in any of my writings anytime soon. i am trying to stay focused on one topic, and move on to the next. none of this mumbo jumbo crazy talk anymore; i have learned how to focus on my feelings and ramble on about that ONE thought or feeling.

i am about to ramble..

focus.
breathe.
focus.

back to where i should be. my days are better, my sleeping is better, and my life is better; i finally am to the point where i am almost content with everything in my life, and i am going to keep on trucking until my life is where i want it; i won't stop until my missing puzzle piece is found (read into it).